Have You Lied About These Dumb Things?

1. The Warning Not to Do It

My husband’s father told him that the button with the red light on it was the car’s self-destruct button. The first time he saw the warning lights on, he was shocked.

2. Who was the last one to drink?

“My stepfather always drank this vegetable drink to lose weight, but for years he lied it was blood and tried to get us to drink it. Almost every time he asked us to drink it, we screamed.

“I thought this for years, until I read the bottle and found out it was just vegetable juice.”

3. Is this a sin against God?

“About a thousand years ago, a bunch of crazy desert people thought there was a Big Man in the Sky who told them to kill anyone who didn’t agree with them about what the Big Man in the Sky was like. They eventually came to believe that if you masturbated, The Big Guy in the Sky would send you to hell for all of eternity, but that he was perfectly happy with slavery. Many people still believe this falsehood, which is sad.

4. A Risky Try

A student in high school asked why American soldiers in World War II were called “doughboys.” In France, they went to see French women and fell in love with French bread, so they kept going back. So, the Pillsbury doughboy came to be. “My teacher quickly shot down this explanation, but for a second, I thought I had them.”

5. Life doesn’t have to be about the present moment all the time

“Carpe Diem was a common theme in high school and college.

6. Santa Claus is not the right kind of person

My older brother told me when I was about four years old that since we didn’t have a chimney, we had to leave the door open all the time on Christmas Eve so Santa could come in. We were robbed a month after that. “We didn’t remember it.”

7. Gramps is perhaps an unique person.

“My grandfather used to tell me a story about how he was so focused on hunting that a snake bit off his leg while he was out hunting.” Then, in a fit of anger, he cut her open from head to tail. After a while, though, he felt bad and put her back together with stitches. His leg grew back after a while. “I don’t know why I thought I knew nothing.”

8. There is actually a lot to choose from

“God’s plans are so precise that if the earth were a few inches closer or farther from the sun, we’d either burn up or freeze.” I heard this when I was young.

9. The terrible state of the world

“A government that gives money to people in need, even when the economy is bad or people are sick, is a form of Communism that should never be considered.” To be clear, I don’t believe this, but I know a lot of people who do.”

10. Espionage

There was a rumor in middle school that I was a Russian spy. No one talked to me for a month because they didn’t want to give personal information to Russia.

11.My grandfather knew a lot of things.

“Once, my grandfather told me a story about signs on the road that say “pebbles may fall.” He said that a Native American chief built them to find his son, Falling Rock, who had gone missing. I would look for him every time I saw those signs, only to find out years later that he had made them up. “I was a dumb kid.”

Source: tiffytaffy.com


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