It seems only right that after carrying a baby for nine months, and suffering the pain and stress of labor, every new mother should have first dibs on holding her baby.
According to one new dad, when he informed his family members that he wouldn’t let anyone hold his newborn until his wife was able to do so, it didn’t go down well.
Reddit Forum “Am I the A**hole?” was where he shared his story to see if anyone else believed he was being selfish or a good person.
After waiting months and suffering through a long and painful birth, every mom will remember the moment when they held their baby for the first time. It is easy to see how this moment will stay with them forever.
The new father stated that his wife had experienced a difficult pregnancy, and that the labor would be difficult. Before she gave birth, her husband’s wife was sad that she would be the last to hold their son. He made sure that their baby was held by her and no other member of the family.
After a long discussion, she said that she hated the idea of being the one to hold her son. He wrote that he didn’t want anyone to hold or meet her son when she was unconscious. After being unconscious for four days, she was able to hold and meet our son. It was only a day after all the others had the opportunity to hold him.
Both their extended families were disappointed by the decision but only his mother, and his sister, continued to challenge it.
The man’s wife gave birth to her baby in November. Although their families were not happy with the decision to give the baby’s mother preference over the other members of the family regarding who cuddled him first, the incident didn’t last – at least that is what they believed.
His wife shared photos of their first time holding their son on social media in January. She wrote about how traumatizing her pregnancy was and the pains of delivery. She also expressed gratitude that she and her son survived. The backlash started.
“My sister and mom started acting like children then. He said, “We took their first few days with their grandson/nephew.” People often meet their grandkids or nieces/nephews within days, weeks, or months of birth. If this had happened in Covid times, it wouldn’t have been possible for long. They said that I was selfish for not doing it because my wife couldn’t meet me or hold our baby.
Some family members claim that the husband was selfish in denying them the opportunity to have contact with the baby following his birth.
Reddit sided in the case of who? Redditors unanimously ruled that the husband wasn’t at fault.
“OP’s wife was the mother of that child for nine months. She went through hell to deliver him; she is entitled to have him before anyone else.”
It’s unbelievable that anyone would have to cope with this. Let me clarify. You have read my wife’s post on how scary, difficult, and traumatic her child’s birth was. That reminded you of how unfair it was that you couldn’t hold him immediately. What about we both looking up selfish together? “” wrote another.
The baby was not the only one.
Some family members criticized the author for not giving their child more opportunities to be held in his first four days.
“OP, you held your baby for the first four days?” Totally wrong. They meant more family interaction and not “Why did you leave the baby alone in his crib ?””.”.”.”. They’re not thinking clearly if they want to play Pass The Baby. [Edit: OP later confirmed that he was cuddling the baby.]
How can they believe they have anything to hold on to, especially now that they have Covid? My baby was born in the midst of the pandemic. Only half of the family have seen him from afar, and only three of them have ever held him.
Tiny babies can be easily overwhelmed and it is selfish to pass them around as if they need more interaction.
Thank you for saving these special moments for your wife. They wrote, “Don’t listen to people who complain.”
“The person who implied that OP had denied their son early contact conveniently overlooks the fact that a child is not going to be able to recall anything. Parents and other family members like to think they are “imprinting” their children’s memories, but this is false. Bravo, OP for standing up to your wife and her child,” wrote another.
His standing with his wife is a praise
“Thanks for prioritizing the wishes of your partner in the interest of women/people giving birth. You did the right thing. This moment was not stolen from you or interrupted in any way. They are selfish and entitled. You are a great parent for putting them in their shoes and showing them they don’t have any rights to the baby. Your words as parents are final. All of them can eat an egg. NTA 1000x.” Said one.
“A friend of mine had an unplanned emergency c-section with her first baby. Her MIL was too excited to not go to the hospital immediately after she was asked. After Dad, she was the second to hold the baby. My friend was distraught when she saw other people hold her baby and meet her before she did. Her relationship with her mother in law was also severely damaged. Even years later, her relationship with her mother-in-law was still very damaged by the fact that another person held her baby. Bravo, OP. 100%. “Remind your sister and mom that it is NOT YOUR CHILD. His mother is more important.” said another.
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